12.5.08

ΟΜΟΦΥΛΟΦΙΛΟΙ ΠΑΤΕΡΕΣ 1

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
.
Fatherwood Dreams
A canadian film about fathers and their children
As the camera follows four fathers in British Columbia, Canada - Steve, Scott, Randy and Drew - the rewards they enjoy becoming and being dads are revealed. But the challenges are enormous and the sacrifices often seem overwhelming. Society has so many questions. Will the children raised by gay fathers feel isolated? Different? Unhappy? Bullied? Will they 'turn' gay?
I've never met another man who is doing what I'm doing and that's been the most difficult thing.
- Scott, a single gay man, on pursuing fatherhood through surrogacy
Gay men who want to have and raise children are "a minority within a minority". On one hand, "family values" organizations routinely condemn gay people, and especially gay men, as a threat to families, morality and society in general; on the other hand, gay fathers often feel as though they are excluded from the larger community of gay men.
Having children has probably kept me single. Gay male culture, at least in Canada, is not suited for men with children.
- Steve, the father of two by co-parenting
How much more do you have to want a child to put yourself out there as a gay couple? How much more incentive and drive does there have to be knowing what people will say?... You have to want it pretty bad.
- about Randy & Drew, adoptive parents
Despite the fact that Canada is one of only five countries in the world where same-sex marriage and heterosexual marriage are recognized as equal by legislation, and although adoption rules are similar for all Canadians, gay men pursuing this avenue find that it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Other options are even more difficult.
I don't ever want to purposefully break the law, but when I think things are wrong, are morally wrong, and don't align, and things exist on paper, I'm willing to actually move the boundaries if I have to. I will father a child, I will become a dad, and I will maybe make a change in the world because people will see that somebody has done it.
- Scott
Is a gay man any different as a father than a straight man? The answer lies in getting to know gay fathers and their children. Since prejudice is fuelled by ignorance and a fear of the unknown, Steve, Scott, Randy and Drew decided to allow the camera into their lives.
.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
.
Meet Randy and Drew, a gay married couple who are raising an adopted a baby boy, Jack.
What are the ways that two men can have kids? We thought of surrogacy, and we thought of adoption...I don't know how serious we were but we talked about maybe Randy's sister...
- Drew
Randy and Drew are a young, down-to-earth married couple who seem like quintessential "regular guys". But when they pursued adoption, they found out that gay men are invariably at the bottom of the list�if on the list at all. Some private, religion-based adoption agencies won't even consider gay men.
Randy's and Drew's luck changed when they were contacted by Tracy, a thirty-six year-old grandmother of four looking for a home for Jack, the yet unborn infant son of her teenaged daughter Corrie. Fatherhood Dreams takes us into the birth family's household and reveals why Tracy chose a gay male couple.
I don't know if I believe in fate necessarily, but I'm very, very lucky - extremely lucky.
- Randy
I believe in fate. I believe things happen as they're meant to happen, and there's some sort of natural plan to the universe as it unfolds.
- Drew
Randy and Drew adopted Jack by "open adoption". They are one of very few gay male couples that have been chosen by birth families in Canada. Are Randy and Drew concerned that Jack will have difficulties growing up with two gay dads? What will happen when he's a teenager, and what are they doing now to avoid possible problems?
.
Meet Stephen, who co-parents two daughters with a lesbian couple.
Families come in all shapes and sizes. Stephen is a lawyer who divides his time between downtown Vancouver and an island near Nanaimo, BC - five hours away - where he goes every weekend. That's where Steve, Wendy and Wendy's partner Coreen are raising his two biological children, an incredibly charming and sharp four-year-old, Kizea, and a typically moody teenager, Jazz.
It's basically like one huge, dysfunctional, strange family.
- Jazz
"I have two moms, Coreen and Wendy. I call them 'mama' and 'mummy'."
"Is it confusing with two moms and a dad visiting?"
"No, it's not confusing. I'm the luckiest ever...because I have the most parents."
- Kizea
All three parents want to be legally recognized as the parents of both kids and are thinking of pursuing legal action in British Columbia based on a precedent-setting case in Ontario early in 2007; three parents won the right to record all their names on their child's Birth Certificate.
Is co-parenting easy? Is Steve able to plan his own life freely? How does it feel to be single while Wendy and Coreen are together? How does Jazz, who identifies herself as straight, feel being different from her parents?
Here is a unique chance to see what life in a co-parenting family is like.
.
Meet Scott, a single gay man, as he prepares to welcome his twin children into the world through surrogacy.
Scott has dreamed of being a father for most of his life. He had to choose between a long-term relationship with a man who didn't want children, and going on a journey to make his fatherhood dream a reality.
I had to make some really serious decisions, and make probably one of the most difficult decision of my life, which was, do I stay with my partner and maybe not raise children, or do I actually leave and go seek the family that I want?.... It's a very difficult decision to make.
- Scott
When he was told that adoption was out of the question for a single gay man, Scott searched for a surrogate. How could any gay man become a father through surrogacy in Canada, if the country still has an archaic law which says that gay men are not allowed to donate sperm? Will Scott be able to make arrangements with a surrogate, knowing that Canada prohibits paying the surrogate for conceiving and carrying a child?
Eventually, Scott found a surrogate mother - all the way across the country. She is an equally vocal part of this story. What does her husband think about her decision to be not a "gestational" but a "traditional surrogate" for Scott? Does she feel the same about Scott's children as she does about the two girls she gave birth to with her husband? What arrangements will be in place after the children are born? What are Scott's chances of finding a partner?
Well, in the gay world a man with two newborns, that's not a hot commodity. I'm not going to be going out, I'm not going to be really dating. There's a chance that I can meet somebody at an airport or a coffee house but really, what man, gay man, wants to take on me and two newborns, like really?
- Scott

2 σχόλια:

One Big DJ είπε...

Looks so far away from here..

erva_cidreira είπε...

Κι όμως, ακόμη και στον όχι μεγάλο κοινωνικό μου κύκλο γνωρίζω αρκετές περιπτώσεις ελλήνων ομοφυλόφιλων ανδρών που έχουν αποκτήσει παιδιά με λεσβίες ή κάποιου άλλου που απέκτησε παιδί με υποβοηθούμενη αναπαραγωγή (εξωσωματική + παρένθετη μητέρα) στις ΗΠΑ.
Αλλά όλοι στην προσπάθειά τους να προστατεύσουν τις οικογένειες τους από τον κοινωνικό ρατσισμό επιλέγουν να είναι αόρατοι, με αποτέλεσμα να δίνεται η λανθασμένη εντύπωση ότι αυτά συμβαίνουν μόνον μακριά από την Ελλάδα.
Στην πραγματικότητα βρίσκονται δίπλα μας.