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I am 21, a malaysian chinese. I've always known deep inside me that I'm gay. Since school days, I've always been attracted to girls. But our relationships have always been platonic friendships, never more than that. I've had my fair shares of infatuations, but it always ends there, cos I've never been able to admit that I'm gay, I've always been in doubt, always had identity crisis. i'm a coward, yes, but in the society I live in, no one can accept gays or lesbians. I do not have any gay friends, do not know any1 who is gay. So I've always portrayed myself as straight, I've had relationships with guys. But they never work, cos the feeling is never mutual. They loved me, but I cannot return those feelings. I'm writing this cos I want out from this fake life that I'm living in. I want to come out gay. i'm currently on my uni semester break, and I'm working part time in a mall. I fell in love instantly with a colleague of mine, but she has a boyfriend. I couldn't do anything, but just hide my feelings for her. She treats me as a friend, nothing more. She, as with everyone else here, do not believe in gays or lesbians. I know that I'll never be able to have her, to be with her, to declare my love for her. Just like many other times when I fell in love. All I really want in life is to be with the one in love, to life in a society that accepts us. I dream about it every night. I can't wait to graduate, to start work, and to migrate to some other country, where I'll be able to start a new, and be true to myself, and find someone who will love me as much as I her, who I can declare my love for publicly. And I also dream of making the girl I love very happy, wrapping her in my arms, falling asleep with her, waking up with her... and maybe one day, one day, I'll be able to tell my parents, and they will be accept me, and be happy for me. Maybe one day...
I am a 64 year old lesbian. About a month ago I lost my mate of 26 years in an automobile accident. For all my life, my sexual orientation has been a non-issue. I'm neither out or in. I lived my life the way I wanted to, and let people think what they wanted. Until now.
When Marilyn died, I not only lost my world; but I found out what the quest for equality is all about. I ordered her cremation; I paid for it. But when it came time to pick up the remains, I couldn't do it because I "am not family." Furthermore, the funeral reimbursement that will be made by OUR auto insurance will go to her estate, not to me. Neither her pension nor a little life insurance policy she had at work will honor her selection of me as the beneficiary. It has to be either spouse or children. I am now considered a "renter" in the house we bought together because it was in her name; and so far we haven't found her will. Within the next two months, I will have to buy "renter's" insurance to protect "my valuables." How do you assign valuables when everything we have purchased and paid for in the past 26 years have been done jointly?
What is happening is that gay and lesbians are being punished for our lifestyle in the guise of "not singling us out for special treatment." We are not asking for special treatment; we just want equal treatment. From the outcome of the recent election, that goal is getting further away instead of closer.
I have had expressions of sympathy from politicians from the state capital to Washington because Marilyn was running for the state legislature. And maybe they are sincere. But are they doing anything to change the discrimination against a large minority in our country? Not nearly enough.
I am 21, a malaysian chinese. I've always known deep inside me that I'm gay. Since school days, I've always been attracted to girls. But our relationships have always been platonic friendships, never more than that. I've had my fair shares of infatuations, but it always ends there, cos I've never been able to admit that I'm gay, I've always been in doubt, always had identity crisis. i'm a coward, yes, but in the society I live in, no one can accept gays or lesbians. I do not have any gay friends, do not know any1 who is gay. So I've always portrayed myself as straight, I've had relationships with guys. But they never work, cos the feeling is never mutual. They loved me, but I cannot return those feelings. I'm writing this cos I want out from this fake life that I'm living in. I want to come out gay. i'm currently on my uni semester break, and I'm working part time in a mall. I fell in love instantly with a colleague of mine, but she has a boyfriend. I couldn't do anything, but just hide my feelings for her. She treats me as a friend, nothing more. She, as with everyone else here, do not believe in gays or lesbians. I know that I'll never be able to have her, to be with her, to declare my love for her. Just like many other times when I fell in love. All I really want in life is to be with the one in love, to life in a society that accepts us. I dream about it every night. I can't wait to graduate, to start work, and to migrate to some other country, where I'll be able to start a new, and be true to myself, and find someone who will love me as much as I her, who I can declare my love for publicly. And I also dream of making the girl I love very happy, wrapping her in my arms, falling asleep with her, waking up with her... and maybe one day, one day, I'll be able to tell my parents, and they will be accept me, and be happy for me. Maybe one day...
I am a 64 year old lesbian. About a month ago I lost my mate of 26 years in an automobile accident. For all my life, my sexual orientation has been a non-issue. I'm neither out or in. I lived my life the way I wanted to, and let people think what they wanted. Until now.
When Marilyn died, I not only lost my world; but I found out what the quest for equality is all about. I ordered her cremation; I paid for it. But when it came time to pick up the remains, I couldn't do it because I "am not family." Furthermore, the funeral reimbursement that will be made by OUR auto insurance will go to her estate, not to me. Neither her pension nor a little life insurance policy she had at work will honor her selection of me as the beneficiary. It has to be either spouse or children. I am now considered a "renter" in the house we bought together because it was in her name; and so far we haven't found her will. Within the next two months, I will have to buy "renter's" insurance to protect "my valuables." How do you assign valuables when everything we have purchased and paid for in the past 26 years have been done jointly?
What is happening is that gay and lesbians are being punished for our lifestyle in the guise of "not singling us out for special treatment." We are not asking for special treatment; we just want equal treatment. From the outcome of the recent election, that goal is getting further away instead of closer.
I have had expressions of sympathy from politicians from the state capital to Washington because Marilyn was running for the state legislature. And maybe they are sincere. But are they doing anything to change the discrimination against a large minority in our country? Not nearly enough.
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