ΔΥΟ ΙΣΤΟΡΙΕΣ ΑΓΑΠΗΣ ΑΠΟ ΤΑ ΣΚΟΠΙΑ

1-
I’m male, 34 years old, and was never married, but I feel like a widower. Why?
I loved a man; actually I still love him, but he is not around any more. It lasted for 6 years.
We met one summer in Ohrid. I was there with some friends… One night we went at a private party. He was there too. I was never before attracted by a man. I just started my first beer, so I thought, it could not be of too much alcohol. After a while we started a chat, we were talking about music, art, books, women, alcohol, sex… We left the party together, alone, to go on the beach and watch the night over the lake. And we set there on the send all night, laughed and drank beer. The romance could be clearly felt between us, so we decided to try to think of some poetic words about the night and the moon and the lake and the love… This sweet competition of words and feelings made us kiss without any doubt. This was the kiss and the moment which started one wonderful relationship.
I expected to feel strange at least at the beginning, but I didn’t. It seemed so natural and I was so soon so much in love with him. We continued seeing each other after the holidays, we used to talk for hours every day on the phone and he used to come to Skopje every weekend… It was like a dream. But noone actually knew about our relationship. We dreamt about living together and started doing all what was possible to achieve that. And we managed to arrange it after one year of the relationship.
He came to live in Skopje; we both worked and were ‘roommates’. As the time was passing by, our relationship was becoming just stronger and stronger. We never had a fight; we never had broken up, not even once. It was all going perfectly well. And in honor to our love, we built a tradition to go to Ohrid every summer and spend even one night on the same beach where we kissed for the first time.
But hiding this love was so hard, hard to impossible, so we decided to try to find ways to go out of the country and continue this life elsewhere. But this never came true…
…It was his mothers’ birthday… he wanted to go home and visit her… But it was Wednesday, I couldn’t take a day off work, so he went alone… and never came back – he had an accident on the road… he died there – in the middle of nowhere, just as the way he lived his life…
I live my life ever since as a widower, I live in deep sorrow, spend my nights in tears and regret, regret for all those things we could have done together, but we didn’t… and I wonder, I wonder if he really knew and was totally aware of how deep and how strong my love for him was…
So dears, if you really love somebody, love somebody even more then you love yourself, do not spend a moment without showing him/her how you feel, without finding ways to say over and over again how much you love… just go through life with your relationships as if there’s no tomorrow… ‘cause there will be a day when tomorrow will never come again…

2-
I am writing you this while listening wonderful music on the radio and watching my girlfriend sleep and I want to share my happiness with you and support you not to give up, presenting you an example of a gay relationship that works.
This is our third year together. Finally the summer is over and we are back in Skopje for exams and ‘regularly’ living together as roommates. If only I could find the words to describe how much and in what way I love her! And, you know, the love in the gay relationships should be great, because otherwise it won’t be possible to fight the great pressure from outside. That is the biggest problem in the gay relationships. The straight couples have the support from the outside. They are free to love and feel love; free to share it with the others; free to express themselves; free to do anything and be supported by everyone around them. They hold hands in public and we are not allowed; they kiss in public and we can’t even think about that; they go to parties together and we are always ‘single’ there; they talk to everyone about their relationship and we always have to make up stories about our boyfriends that don’t exist; they go everywhere together and we go alone; they spend Christmas together and we are separated; they decide to live together, they are supported in everyway; we dream of living together, we can’t find enough reasons to satisfy everyone’s curiosity… We live fiction lives and have to fight every suspicion in the people around… We are pressured by our families and friends to live the lives they want us to live! It’s fine at the beginning while you can be ‘temporal roommates’, but after a year or two, when you are supposed to ‘move on with your lives’, get married or stuff like that, what excuse are you going to give?
And what do you think, you long it takes till we start believing in our own lies?!
Yes, love must be strong to go through all this…
And what about the pressure from the gay people… We must admit that gay people are great party breakers – relationship breakers! Terrified from the ‘tight selection’ they have, they desire and go for some forbidden fruit…
So, gay people have to hide from gay people as well as from the straight. You might find this odd, but it’s quite true and it’s hard! I am gay, I’ve been on both sides of the river and I know; it’s just irresistible!

(Αναδημοσίευση από το site των Σκοπίων MASSO Online)