An introduction to heterophobia
Lotte Jeffs
At last, no more pushing twin beds together in hotels that refuse to accept gay couples. Waiters can no longer get away with asking two women to "tone down" their affection when hand-holding in a restaurant and insurers won't be able to rationalise asking all homosexual men to take an Aids test. In October, new legislation issued by the government's women and equality unit will make it illegal for any goods or service providers to offer discriminatory treatment on the basis of sexuality. The implications of the act are vast and will make it harder than ever for homophobia to go unnoticed. But as shops and services are rushing to open doors to gay and lesbian consumers, we are battening down the hatches of our own communal closet - scared to death that "the straights" are on their way in.
Nowhere is this "heterophobia" more evident than on London's solipsistic gay scene, where straight women are "fag hags" and men "closet queers". Recently, I was out in the city's bastion of lesbiandom, Candy Bar in Soho. The girls and I were happily arm wrestling, comparing the snaps on our braces and discussing how it was surely possible to fit a 15th cat into a one-bedroom apartment. Then there was an abrupt silence. A man and a woman, obviously a couple, had stumbled in off Greek Street thinking they had found the perfect place to start their evening. Oh, how we laughed: "Aren't straights funny?" we proclaimed. "Hapless heterosexuals. Why don't they just stick to All Bar One?"
Thinking that venues can continue to justify being "gay only" is about as ridiculous as believing that lesbians really do sit around comparing biceps and talking about their cats. But when it comes to welcoming one and all to the places gay people like to call their own, words such as equality and diversity are conveniently forgotten. The Goods and Services Act will also, however, make it illegal for gay venues to dismiss people based on their real - or perceived - sexuality, and heterosexuals will be well within their rights to challenge harassment or discrimination.
So, I would like to apologise for the treatment of well-meaning heteros who have accidentally ended up in homosexual establishments only to have their liberalism stretched to its limits. Asking straight guys if they are "drag kings" and women if they're "trannies" - it's wrong and I'm sorry. But seriously, watching squirming straight guys in the middle of a teeming gay bar is undeniably amusing. Some make a dash for the door; others circle the bar to make sure it's gay and not just really trendy. Then there are those who have a team huddle and decide to buy a drink on the other side of the fence for a change.
And good for them. They have gone to the effort of putting their open-mindedness into action - isn't it about time the gay community did the same?
Nowhere is this "heterophobia" more evident than on London's solipsistic gay scene, where straight women are "fag hags" and men "closet queers". Recently, I was out in the city's bastion of lesbiandom, Candy Bar in Soho. The girls and I were happily arm wrestling, comparing the snaps on our braces and discussing how it was surely possible to fit a 15th cat into a one-bedroom apartment. Then there was an abrupt silence. A man and a woman, obviously a couple, had stumbled in off Greek Street thinking they had found the perfect place to start their evening. Oh, how we laughed: "Aren't straights funny?" we proclaimed. "Hapless heterosexuals. Why don't they just stick to All Bar One?"
Thinking that venues can continue to justify being "gay only" is about as ridiculous as believing that lesbians really do sit around comparing biceps and talking about their cats. But when it comes to welcoming one and all to the places gay people like to call their own, words such as equality and diversity are conveniently forgotten. The Goods and Services Act will also, however, make it illegal for gay venues to dismiss people based on their real - or perceived - sexuality, and heterosexuals will be well within their rights to challenge harassment or discrimination.
So, I would like to apologise for the treatment of well-meaning heteros who have accidentally ended up in homosexual establishments only to have their liberalism stretched to its limits. Asking straight guys if they are "drag kings" and women if they're "trannies" - it's wrong and I'm sorry. But seriously, watching squirming straight guys in the middle of a teeming gay bar is undeniably amusing. Some make a dash for the door; others circle the bar to make sure it's gay and not just really trendy. Then there are those who have a team huddle and decide to buy a drink on the other side of the fence for a change.
And good for them. They have gone to the effort of putting their open-mindedness into action - isn't it about time the gay community did the same?
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(Αναδημοσίευση από τη βρετανική εφημερίδα ΤHE GUARDIA 01-05-2006)
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Και μια απάντηση αναγνώστριας:
I don't know when Lotte Jeffs (An introduction to heterophobia, G2, May 1) last experienced Canal Street, but a lot of the straight men I've encountered there certainly aren't "putting their open mindedness into action". Indeed quite a large number seem to have gone there for the express purpose of harassing lesbians and gay men. Which all seems to me a very good argument for gay venues having the right to exclude heterosexuals. It's a matter of feeling comfortable and safe and having a space that's ours, not heterophobia.
Linda Calvert (03-05-2006)
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